I am Matt Schmill's mom, Lynn.
Matthew was a very special and beautiful baby. Hoping for a blue eyed, blonde baby he fit my dreams completely. I cherished my pregnancy and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. Matt was truly a miracle. As Matt grew he brought so much joy to our family.
Matt was blessed with a large circle of friends and he cared about everyone. Matt treated everyone with respect.
My love for Matt is so huge and we had such a special relationship. As a young man, Matt would share his feelings and his life with me. How wonderful it feels to have your child confide in you.
Unless you have had the misfortune of losing a child it is impossible for you to realize the devastation and life altering experience it is. This was a senseless death caused by a person that obviously has no remorse for what she has done. Her past history included MIP’s and a DUI. Her lack of guilt and leaving the scene of the accident, too immature and heartless to face the wrong she had committed. By driving away it shows she had something to hide and proves her guilt. A truly good, honest person would have been responsible, stopped, called 911, helped my son, who after being hit was thrown over 30 feet onto the pavement. She was obviously was speeding and her reflexes were hampered by alcohol.
My heart is broken and I miss Matt every second of everyday. Matt is in my mind always, even if it’s just his name being repeated over and over again. I think about what he and what we will miss, an endless number of things are ongoing in my mind. I at times feel I am losing my mind, the anxiety, depression and insomnia are overwhelming and my life will never be as it was. I wish for my old life when we were all happy. Sadness is now my mood and I feel I am acting my way through the days trying to carry on as others expect me to do.
While other mothers are buying their sons gifts out of love for their child I am buying flowers and accessories to decorate Matt’s grave. It just shouldn’t be this way.
Angels and statues now decorate our home. A large flower garden in our yard was made in memory of Matt. I still have a hard time believing my beautiful child is gone.
Had Susan been paying attention and not compromised by alcohol Matt would be alive today. She was speeding, did not swerve, did not apply her brakes – she hit Matt and then left the scene. Why is it that good people are taken and those that do wrong live on with the chance of ruining someone else’s life.
Matthew was my happy go lucky child who would seize every minute … look at it and really see it … live it and never give it back. He would never sweat the small stuff. He would not worry who didn’t like him, who has more or who’s doing what. He cherished the relationship he had with those who loved him.
God blessed me with this beautiful boy and I loved him more than life itself. Space and time cannot affect love and I love Matt more than words can say. We have a legacy of memories, Good and Bad, Happy and Sad, Silly and Serious and yes I will live on with Matthew always in my heart. I believe he is walking beside me, but my grief will not lessen and I will forever be waiting to get that special hug from him.
I Love You Matt.